Slowing Down

The problem with slowing down is that it takes so long. The irony of slow is that it is slow. To learn to slow down takes a long time. To type slower. To be more thoughtful before I make decisions. To consider what I write. To see mistakes as part of the journey - to let them be. To exist consciously with my whole self in every situation. To be comfortable because I am worth it. I am worth the time. I am worth the time to treat myself well. My dreams are worthy of my own time. My dreams could be my No. 1 priority. So what are my dreams and how do I identify them? My mental and spiritual health at present is my No. 1 priority. My mental and spiritual health is worth my time. Feeling good is worth it. My inner expectations even to have a blog that answers all is a pressure I place on myself.

Things that are on my mind before I sleep tonight: setting up my account and getting a signed copy of my drivers licence. Calculating how much the payment could be on our mortgage. Answering the rest of the questions in chapter 1 of the money book. Reading the magazines I have purchased. Listening to the new meditation CD. Going through my YANA notes. Keeping a mood diary. Tidying up the piano and desk in the dining room. Moving the computer into the dining room. Getting a new desk and playroom shelves from IKEA. Sorting our photos. Storing Isaac's toys properly. Cleaning the toy library toys. Returning books and toy library toys to the library. Reading all the books I have borrowed. Learning all the stress relieving techniques properly. Keeping a list of useful quotes. Planting more vegetables and herbs. Weeding the rest of the vegetable garden. Setting up the dates for the fertilising of the tomatoe plant. Filling out my new diary. Calling Jeremy's mum to arrange a change of babysitting day. Checking through the bags that I put away that I really want them. Go through the bathroom cupboard. Finish going through the farm shelf in the garage. Box everything up for the next garage sale. List remaining items in the Adelaide shopper. Count books and list in the Adelaide shopper. Read the books I have borrowed from the library. Set up a bill paying system in our Rural Bank account. Keep a record of bills in the system. Buy Jeremy a home gym. Organise a birthday for Jeremy. Organise babysitters for a date night. Set up the bird feeder again. Buy some bamboo wind chimes. Sign up for the permaculture course. Do a community workers course at TAFE. Do a social work degree. Do a course in professional writing. Learn how to manage myself. Find out who I am and what I really want and what is going to make me really happy. Find out which things I am doing for others and for unimportant rules I have set myself, and which things really matter. Do what I want, and not what I think I "should". Be true to myself. Enjoy life. Know that I can do my vocation and be a great Mum to Isaac:) Love me.